16

Mrs. Dugan's Discovery

From the August 1908 issue of

Good Housekeeping

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Mrs. Dugan's Discovery

‖

by Ellis

Parker Butler

Wan day whin Oi was afther rummagin' in me cellar, Oi found wan dozen champagne

bottles goin' t' waste, an' 'twas a pity t' see thim go t' waste. Oi tuck a look at thim an' Oi

seen they was all in good condition, excipt they was full av champagne-wather. Puttin'

th' twilve bottles t' wan soide, Oi went inta th' back yar-r-d, where th' grapevine do be,

an' from th' grapevine Oi tuck wan av thim long curly tendrils. A frind av mine so

happened t' be th' prisidint av th' United States Steel company, an' Oi sint him th' long

curly tendril from th' grapevine, an' Oi said,

―

Wud he mek me a duplicate av it in

timpered steel?

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Shure, he was glad t' accommydate me, because wance me old man

was afther buyin' a share av steel stock from him whin no wan seemed t' want anny.

'Twas not six weeks whin Oi resayved back from th' prisidint av th' steel trust th'

timpered steel imitation av th' curly tendril av th' grapevine.

Onta th' upper ind av this, an' crossways, 'twas no thrick at all t' fix a clothespin. Oi thin

pressed th' sharp point av th' lower ind av th' steel tendril inta th' cork av wan of th'

champagne bottles, an' twisted th' tendril around. Thin, by pullin' sharp upward on th'

clothespin, an' at th' same time houldin' th' bottle toight betwane me knees -- which Oi

had covered wid rosin to prevint th' bottle slippin' -- Oi drew out th' cork.